We were all at a nice big round table. It was a friends party, and I had brought a friend who had hung out once with some of them. But everything was going good, there was a hookah on the table, two bongs, a big bag of weed, some salvia, beers and lighters. Everybody was talking to a few people close enough to them; or a few places away, depending on how loud they liked to get; but I was with S and T, and we were all saying things about people and the party, just bullshitting.
We were in our conversation, and it was good because we are all people who recognize the human force; we acknowledged people as a dimension, or field of play. So we all sort sat in a trio, halfway tripping in our own ways in the back of our minds while we talked with our beers.
Then the salvia was brought into question. H and E, the girlfriends of U and N wanted to do it. H already had, E hadn’t. So had H’s boyfriend U, who said “It really isn’t that great.” And it was made clear that people sometimes have a bad time on it. T didn’t want to do it, and S didn’t even smoke weed anymore, so it was just going to be the girlfriends.
The bongs were packed, so they could do it at the same time. They lit it, but E could not light hers for a minute, and was helped. Salvia hits immediately, so as soon as I looked from E taking a hit, H had finished hers, and was beginning to feel the effects. The room observed. H was quiet, and looked about drowsily, and didn’t really look at anyone; in her own world. Then E felt the effects, and I watched her. She laughed a low, strange laugh, holding her head down 6 inches from the tabletop. She looked left then right, again and again, low, like a turret sprinkler. Again and again she did it, with a never chaging drowsy laugh and an Alice in Wonderland sort of deformed face, goofy and disturbing. H had put her hands over her eyes, while U tried to communicate quietly to her, and tried to take her hands down, as a suggestion. She kept putting them up, and made slight movements.
E was next to me, and I didn’t like what I saw. I told S that that did not look fun, and just looked wrong. He said “Ya.”, and we watched.
E slipped more and more into her hallucination, swiveling more, laughing and becoming more drowsy and loose. She started to move some in her seat, and then almost fell out. She still laughed, and N tried to suggest a more calm trip by helping her to her former position, and comforting her. When he had his hands on the back of her chair she kick- scooted her chair out drastically, causing a chair noise on the hardwood floor. The mood changed. He tried to calm her, and she giggled, then giggled softer, then just had a small smile the quickly changed. She was suddenly confused, and I recognized that look. It conveyed the same feeling I had had before. It was just a beginning. She was confused, and then fearful, scared and in a hallucination. She focused, then screamed.
The scream wasn’t blood curdling because how loud it was, it could have been louder. It didn’t sound like the screams you hear in movies where they are physically powered. The scream was emotionally powered, and you could see her fear in the sound of her screams. You could see how she was reacting, physically, to the environment, and how it was off because she was trying to cope with hallucinations. Her movements did not flow in tandem with reality, she was off kilter, and sideways. She had jumped up, and screamed, screeched something of real emotion, real fear. She ran past me, and knocked over some fake potted plants as she passed, and headed out the dining room doorway into the living room, screaming the same. Then she continued to sound like a banshee, “LET ME BREATHE!”. And once more, again, and H’s sister yelled at her to shut the fuck up! SHUT THE FUCK UP! The nearby R stopped her, and told that that was not the right thing to do. E was crying, and saying N’s name, and life. She looked around, broken and distressed, and fell on the floor criss cross apple sauced. N was right there to comfort her. She mumbled his name, and she loved life, and he held her scared and receiving, trying to comfort. She did a dazed revolution with her head, as people in that state often do, and fell silent. She came to in 10 or 15 seconds.
N was there, and she shook her head and was glad. She was glad it was all a blur and then now it was over. She said she had gone to hell or something, and had to shout what she loved, and she didn’t know what she did, then she shouted his name.